Monday, May 25, 2020

How I'm Holding Up During This Pandemic

Miss Jenn

A lot of people have been asking how I've been holding up during this pandemic and the honest answer to that is "it depends on the day" or sometimes even on the hour.

Like most people, my work and my income has been affected. I went from a business model that was primarily centered around in-person sessions to an online-only business. For the most part the client base for those seeking in-person interactions is an almost completely different client base for those who want to buy clips or even do phone sessions. And you need a totally different skill set for producing and marketing clips than you do for IRL. My strong point is being good with people in-person in a one-on-one interaction where I give that person my full and undivided attention. I've been thrown out of that arena, the area that I'm actually good at, and into another arena where I'm learning the ropes. Yes, I've been taking online classes like crazy, usually 1-3 classes per week, to try to improve that skill set, but of course, all of this takes time and money.

The other aspect of the switch from IRL to online sessions is the lack of physical connection with people that I no longer get. Not getting to play. And like many others, also missing out on the gym. So I went from a physical job (spanking is exercise!) to an online job, and from going to the gym multiple times per week to never going to the gym. 

No play, no exercise = No Endorphins!
Very sad indeed

But the other thing that's been causing me severe depression is my family.
Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am extremely close with my parents, whom I haven't been able to see in 2-months now due to social distancing. So I went from helping them out 2-3 times per week, visiting with them for 4-8 hours at a time, to 2-months of no contact with no end in sight. This is the longest time period I have ever gone without seeing them in my entire life.
But add to it that my mom's health, which was already fragile with her having Parkinson's and high blood pressure, has like many others gotten worse during the pandemic.
It is extremely hard watching someone die. Now I'm not saying that she's going to be dying any time soon, for all I know she could live another 10 years, but she has virtually no quality of life.
Basically she's not going to ever improve. She will either remain the same (which is a daily struggle for her), get even worse, or die. None of those options are the least bit positive. I try my best to stay focused on my work, on being productive, but... sometimes it gets to me. 
And when it does, I'll sometimes spend days never leaving home, not wanting to talk to anyone on the phone, not wanting to be social, not responding to texts. Pretty darn easy to do during this time in Lockdown. Just crying on the couch. Then when I'm able, I'll walk the 3-feet from my couch to my computer and get some work done...until the next break-down occurs, and back to the couch again. And I just go back and forth between the couch and the computer. For days.
When I'm depressed like this, I just don't have it in me to engage with people and chit-chat over Twitter. With the little energy I have, I want that energy to go towards doing something productive like producing content. And I have no desire for small talk over the phone or messaging over Twitter.

So yeah, most of my depression is about my mom, whose situation is just not getting any better. But my own health has been declining (and no I'm not talking about my mental health or about coronavirus). I have a chronic illness that's gotten a lot worse during this time period as well.
Physically I'm not doing so well right now. Don't worry, it's not anything that can kill me.

Also, when looking at the future I'm seeing some big changes coming but I don't know exactly when, and they are things I have no control over. A big part of my business was travel...I used to travel at least once a month. That's obviously going to be changing. I do still plan to travel to D.C. and Chicago but have no idea when that will be. But traveling once a month, that's going to be a thing of the past. So yeah, I'm mourning the loss of my travel job.

And depending on what my parents end up deciding, I may not be able to go back to in-person sessions, because of their situation as they are in their 80s and in a high-risk age group, if I'm allowed to see them again.

So there's a lot of stuff I'm "mourning" right now. 
Even though a lot of people are looking forward to our state being fully re-opened, that doesn't mean that when that happens, that I'll be able to return to my former life.

On the positive side of things, I've also gotten to do do some really fun things too. I've gotten into skype sessions. I've been interviewed on some podcasts (Shayla Aspasia's, Kylie Gable) and was interviewed by Jamie Foster (aka Clare Fonda) and pretty soon, I'll be interviewing her. I'm a part of a bunch of online Femdom groups that just got created during the pandemic, and the community in that is truly phenomenal. My own podcast finally got accepted by Apple/iTunes, so I am finally updating my podcast (it took almost 6-months to get approved, I'm not sure what happened) and I was waiting on that to post more podcast episodes. I am producing a lot more content, including a ton of FREE content as well to entertain people during this hard time in isolation, and I started doing Live Streams / Live Shows to interact with my fans and friends. I guess I'm holding up as good as can be expected, under the circumstances...

That's the bulk of it. Thanks for reading!


  1. Not being able to see family is the worst part of this for me. We haven’t met, but you’re obviously a very good person, and I’m wishing you the best. Hopefully you can discover new ways to shape your business and personal life. Try to stay optimistic that, even if it may take awhile, and changes will be made, we’ll eventually get back to some semblance of normal life.

  2. THANKS for sharing all of this Jenn. Sounds like you've got a lot going on but are dealing with it as best you can. I sure hope you're able to do 'in person' sessions again sometime soon. I'd re really like to see you. Sending good thoughts your way ;)

  3. Hi Jenn,
    It's really bad that this crisis hurts the people we love the most and we all need a good hug and embrace and social and physical contact so hopefully it will happen soon.
    Take care of yourself and we all love and need you.
    Just to lift your spirits , you have the best legs of any woman I know and I look forward to staying in touch with you and maybe even meeting one day once all this is over.
    Welcome to chat with you any time.

  4. I re-read what you posted, (since it was long), I think that you SHOULD GO SEE YOUR FOLKS! 'social distancing' be damned, it's worth it for both you and them......IF something happened and you didn't see them one last time it would haunt you......just sayin' (as someone who lives with a ton of regrets everyday that haunt me....Ughhhh), forget being in the so called 'lockdown' it's TIME to get out, see your folks, connect with your other family members and think positve about June and the Summer months coming up......that's my prescription Young Lady. 'Dr.Brad' ;)

  5. I agree with the above comments........go out for a nice drive in your car to get out of the house, take a few LONG WALKS since you can't go to the Gym, (or Spank anyone) to get 'endorphines' I sure hope streaming live shows HELPS you feel more connected, always good to see you on those ;)

  6. I just send you a bunch of 'comments' since I can't talk to you, but I forgot to say. How about SKYPING with your folks every day? (or some other form of video chat), unless you're already dong that, just a thought. EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER just wait and see......... ;)

  7. Up dates your trip to Washington dc